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The following is a creative expression of mainstream thinking and ideology. 

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Mainstream.

Deception.

 Contradiction.

 Confusion.

 Search.

 Impulse.

 Mass.

 Wither.

 My ears itch.

 Stumble.

 Tantrum.

 Dry up.

 Desolate.

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.RORRIM

Look at me. No, not you. Me. Look at myself. You see it.

No, I don’t see it.

No, not you, I mean I.

Ok, now I see.

How it is. How it should be.

Not the regret of the recollect. Not the holiday of the hallucination. Ok, now I see. How it is.

The presence of the perception. How it should be.

No, I don’t see it.

I find pleasure in you. No, not you. Me. Sounds vain. How it is. Receiving validation through the appreciation tap.

How it is. Valuable only through the independent view of the presence. How it should be.

Look at me. No, not you. Me. Clear, flawless, molded. No, I don’t see it. How it is.

Broken, shattered, pieces missing. Ok, now I see it.

No, not you. Me.

Remains authentic. How it is. Easier to remain counting the words of what was and dozing in what could rather

than enslave what is. Control. Presence remains distracted. Presence remains blind. You see it.

No, I don’t see it.

REFLECTION.

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Rid the negativity surrounding the idea of being a loner.

Hermit. Get out more. Come out from beneath the rock.

We don’t spend enough time with ourselves. Oh but that sounds selfish of me to want to do that. The busier you

are the more important and successful you appear. It’s more about appearance than inner growth within the

depths of solitude. I mean under the rock. You don’t see it how I see it.

Telling me that 15 minutes a day of time alone will bring me to an inner peace with myself. Nah. Not enough time.

There’s 24 hours in a day and people can only manage a few minutes to themselves. Maybe I shouldn’t say

manage. Settle? Allow? Reluctant?

We are no longer present with ourselves anymore. You know, I had a father that would come around. Wait. No.

He was always there but his presence was lackluster. But I guess that was good enough for him. Settle. Allow. I

wanted something more though. Reluctant.

Same way. A few minutes. That’s all. Settle. Allow. 1440 in a day with ourselves and we are present with

ourselves for 15. Settle. Allow. We want more but we aren’t willing to put in the time. Reluctant.

I’m alone and present with myself for hours a day. Loner. I enjoy silence. Pure solitude. True self emerges when

no one else is present. There’s a word for that. Introvert? Hmm… Maybe. Intricate? Nah. But… In a way? Nah,

you wouldn’t get it.

Digression. Where weren’t you? Right. Pure solitude. Being able to sit alone. Settle. All your thoughts spill out.

Allow. There’s something about being vulnerable in a room that echoes your thoughts into taunts. Reluctant.

Face it. Response. You can’t run. You can’t hide. You’re already in silence. You’re already in darkness. Conquer

it.

Conquer solitude.

But you know, 15 minutes.

Conquer the world. Allow. Conquer others. Settle. Conquer yourself. Reluctant.

- Aaron O. Grant 

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Desolate.

 Intervention.

 Divine.

 Reception.

 Found.

 Restoration.

 Holistic.

 Provision.

 Principle.

 Truth.

 Life.

 Main Stream.

 

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Eliminate disappointment. Omit expectation.

Ever wonder what it would be like to never be disappointed?

Don’t ever set an expectation. Don’t ever expect anything from yourself. Don’t ever expect anything from others.

Don’t ever expect anything from the plans you set.

Refuse expectation. Avoid disappointment.

Don’t expect anything – accept everything.

Minimize depth of input. Maximize depth of benefit. Fortify the kiddie pool.

On the flipside, you will never have to see a chiropractor in your life to get your spine aligned.

You don’t have one. 

I don’t expect anything from you. Anything with your name etched into it, I don’t expect anything out of it. I have

set zero expectations for your life.

No expectations. No standards. No measure. No benchmark.

When more is expected, more comes out than expected.

“I don’t expect much from my children. Honestly, I don’t expect anything from them. I set some commands up

but it’s not a mandatory thing. Do as you please because I don’t want you to disappoint me.”

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Standards were set. Expectations were set.

Love your neighbor. Go and make disciples. Forgive others.

Shortcoming.

Enter gospel. Love demonstrated. Forgiveness extended.

No expectation, no standard.

Exit gospel. 

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Simply perspective.

No, this isn’t a “taking shots” voice. This isn’t a rant to place people in a sense of offense or place someone in

the wrong. Also, it is not my best interest to consider the level of offense towards an individual when speaking

truth. That is in your control.

There is more meaning than what lies on the surface. Dig a little. Do not simply accept the current state while

everything around evolves. Interpretation. Perspective. Innovation.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes… Romans

1:16

Powerful verse. But how powerful? As powerful as you want it to be I guess, right? The word “power” is in it and

it refers to the power of God so it must be powerful.

Deeper.

I am not afraid to tell people about the gospel. Powerful.

Deeper.

I am not afraid of the possible repercussions or embarrassment that could follow. Powerful.

Deeper.

This is the gospel we are talking about. If I talk about this it has the possibility of saving a life. Powerful.

Maybe I am late to the scene on this one and everyone has already gone deeper. Maybe this verse has lost its

pazazz. Maybe we are already doing everything that this verse has to offer.

Eh.

Interpretation. Perspective. Innovation. 

I am not ashamed to tell you why I need the gospel.

I am not ashamed to tell you I am a recovering pornographic addict.

I am not ashamed to tell you I have contemplated suicide and placed blades on my arms.

I am not ashamed to tell you my mouth isn’t the cleanest.

I am not ashamed to tell you I don’t always love my neighbor.

I am not ashamed to tell you I fail to lead others to Jesus.

I am not ashamed to tell you I sometimes prefer my comfortable way rather than the path towards Jesus.

I am not ashamed to tell you I have ulterior motives. My heart isn’t behind my actions.

I am not ashamed to tell you I am ungrateful. My thoughts desire what others have.

I am not ashamed to proclaim my shortcomings because the gospel covers any shame that accompanies. 

The current state of the people we encounter daily continues to be an untouchable façade or an unreachable

mortification.

Proclaiming “I’m unashamed! Romans 1:16! I’m unashamed to tell you that I am a Christian!”

There are too many façade shouts of the gospel to a mortified heart.

Tell me what led you to accept Jesus. Your story must be powerful. Why do you need the gospel in your life?

...

Hmm. I see. So you remain ashamed of whom you are despite your proclamation of being unashamed of the

gospel?

You remain ashamed of your alcohol binge?

You remain ashamed of your actions in your past relationships?

You remain ashamed of your lies to your family?

You remain ashamed of the abortion you had?

You remain ashamed of the young kids you bullied?

You remain ashamed of putting your hands on your spouse and children?

We penetrated Him and we refuse to let Him penetrate us.

An unreachable mortification can be liberated through the lifting of an untouchable façade. 

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Arms crossed.  Giving the answer just as the question is asked. Nothing more. I get it. I see it. Past says pain.

Past says just enough for reception. Tinted window. Reception says too much.

Conditional love. Only care to equate to the level desired in return. Love dependent on the conditions provided.

Tinted window.

Convinced that it’s not supposed to be hard. Not supposed to be painful. Don’t make it any more difficult. Stop

pulling your hand away. It’s cold, I know. Keep it there, it will warm up. Pull away again and it will be worse.

Time doesn’t heal when the door remains locked. Behind, within the dark, blooms a flower. Distrust. Love

because. Love regardless.

Love endured pain.

“Take this cup from me.”

Betrayal. Abandonment. Temptation. Anguish. Scorn. Sorrow. Beaten. Whipped. Nails. Love because.

Still convinced?

Knowing the choice of acceptance may never be made. Love because. Love regardless.   

Knowing wrong would be committed multiple times over. Love because. Love regardless.

Knowing the arms would cross. The windows would tint. The door would lock. Love because. Love regardless.

“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.”- 1

John 3:16

Knowing He may never receive anything in return.

Unconditional.

Undeserving. 

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Jesus isn’t an ATM machine.

Jesus isn’t a time card you get to sign your name and cash it in.

Get rid of the idea that whatever you do, however much time you spent, whatever you sacrificed for, however

well you did something, is going to give you some reward or prize.

“I spent an hour in prayer. Where are my blessings?”

“I am going to church every Sunday but I am not receiving anything. I must not be doing something right. Maybe

I’ll join the bible study after church and see what happens.”

“I studied the Bible everyday this week. I haven’t gotten any sort of favor from God yet? I need to increase how

much time I spend each day.”

“Now that person has a nice car, home, family, job. I wonder what they are doing that I’m not.”

“Come on. My attitude has been good these past few days. Can I get a break or something?”

The relationship you have with Jesus is not a casino slot machine. Put in a little effort hoping to hit the big

jackpot and ride off into the sunset.

Stop writing down all the time you spent with Him and cashing it in for your weekly blessing.

Stop measuring your daily good deed on a scale expecting it to yield a fatter reward.

Remove the sense of entitlement. Remove the deserving feeling.

Go read your bible. Go spend time in prayer. Try again. Because whatever you got you didn’t get it.

Get it?

When we insist on placing the control of what we deserve in our own hands, we take Jesus’ ability to act

graciously out of His hands.

“It does not, therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.” - Romans 9:16

But I mean if you would rather settle for what you think you deserve. L suffered.

Missing out. More available than what you settle for. Even more available than what you think you deserve.

Open the curtains. What you deserve, what I deserve?

Don’t talk to your mother with that mouth.

That sun is bright isn’t it?

Take a look at all those deeds. Tithes. Acts. Works. Intentions. Words. Time.

Windows are dirty.

What do you think about all of that?

Let’s save that one for later. Just ate breakfast. Did that coffee not wake you up yet?

Whatever, however, whenever, with whoever, it’s not going to place you closer to worthiness. We don’t deserve

anything.

Similar conversations previously. Something about expectations? No, it was disappointment. Wait, it was neither

of those. Contradiction.

He already took what we deserve. So we wouldn’t have to.

Everything is a product of demonstrated grace. Gift. Knowing you don’t deserve what you have generates

ultimate gratitude. Grateful.

Sure, you could continue working until you get what you deserve. But even that would be a settle.

Don’t settle for anything less than you are willing to ask Jesus for and He is graciously willing to give you.

“And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.” – Romans 11:6 

 
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